Thursday, January 3, 2013

hello 2013...i hear you friend!

i never make New Year's resolutions.
yes, i have certain goals in mind for the upcoming new year, but i try to be flexible & patient as i try to wait on the direction in which God guides me & then work in accord with it.
He's is much better at directing my life than i am.

besides how can i possibly know what life has in store for me before the year even begins right?

ok so this is what i mean:
it has only been 3 days into 2013 & so far each night of this new year i have been awake for hours in the middle of the night of course, meditating on the same topic...FORGIVENESS!
& i'm sure that it is not by coincidence that yesterday my good friend posted the reminder above.
[just for me i'm sure! thank you M.J.]

yes forgiveness again *sigh*. 
2012 presented plenty of opportunities for me to practice & perfect my rusty forgiveness skills. i went thru it last year & i thought with all that practice i became pretty good at it all...ok i thought i was done & had forgiveness down actually!

um no. this was not a goal i had chosen for myself for this year but clearly these early morning sessions of self evaluation & meditation are letting me know i am FAR from done & 2013 is here to finish in me what 2012 started.

interestingly, what has surprised me most is that each of these nights the same exact situations keep resurfacing that i thought or better yet tried to fool myself into thinking i had completely let go of (but knowing good & well i'm actually holding onto just a teeny tiny stubborn little bit).

so maybe that is part of the work ahead of me in 2013, to continue not just humbling myself, turning the other cheek & keep on SAYING "i forgive you" but really MEANING it...& the completely letting go part.

hello 2013.
i am accepting my assignment! 
now may i please please please sleep thru the night soon ?!?!

ps i get lots of practice giving & asking forgiveness from my sweet girlies constantly & consistently on a daily basis because it is both easy & necessary for me to forgive my own children's cute faces. just as i hope & need it to be easy for them to forgive their own far from perfect mama who does the best she can.
BUT for some reason...i have this sneaking suspicion that this is all some kind of foreshadowing & training prepping me for the rest of these years with one teen (eased in gently so far...not too bad) BUT even more so the upcoming years with a household of 3 teenaged GIRLS! Lord knows i need to start now & need all the help i can get...YIKES!

continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely if anyone has a cause for complaint against another . even as God FREELY FORGAVE you, so do you also. Colossians 3:13

No comments:

Post a Comment